A grandmother was talking to her granddaughter about how she felt. She said, ‘I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one.’ The granddaughter asked her, ‘Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?’ The grandmother answered: ‘The one I feed.’ – Native American Story
Living life with an open heart is a practice; a lifelong, not always comfortable, practice. At least 100 times a day I collide with my human condition of forgetting. Sometimes it hurts, on better days I can chuckle and breathe. Everyday I go to my yoga mat to focus on breath and movement. Inhaling prana, life force, arriving in the present moment; praying to let go with each exhale that which no longer serves.
Ambition creeps in like a proud weed. It has taken me decades and a few injuries to discover, and admit, that I had been practicing yoga in a very masculine style. Commanding the body, challenging myself towards a predetermined goal. Now I turn the practice inwards, to self compassion, ahimsa, non violence to self. Instead of ‘taking a breath’ I can welcome the breath. Awaiting my-self, so that my heart accompanies me in breath, movement and stillness. It’s a more feminine approach, graceful, strong and authentic. Here on the mat I begin with self while I dream of world peace. My yoga mat, my refuge.